When I was seventeen, I received a letter from a friend of mine. She had been attending this Christian camp and was “slain in the spirit”: falling down beside the campfire and hitting her head on a rock. She claimed to be okay, but I was concerned. I really liked her, and the idea of her getting swept up in some dangerous cult, perhaps opening herself up to the influence of evil spirits, worried me.
I went to my dad with my concerns, and we talked about the Holy Spirit. He borrowed some books from our pastors (a husband and wife team) and we sat together to read and discuss. I began to be reassured by the news that being overcome by the presence of God’s Holy Spirit, causing one to fall, cry, laugh, shake, stagger or speak in unknown tongues, was widespread and therefore normal. I took comfort from Jesus’ words:
“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11)
If we asked God for His Holy Spirit, He would surely keep any other spirits from entering in. I prayed for my friend, then began looking at asking God for some of these gifts, myself.
I got the book, Good Morning, Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn, and skimmed a few other books on the subject. I began to pray in tongues every night. My family upstairs would listen to me howling to God in my basement bedroom. I’m not sure what they thought.
I went to an Alliance church service, and was prayed over. I did not fall backward, though they were prepared for me to do so. I went to a charismatic Catholic service and burst into tears partway through. I moved swiftly to the back of the church, where I tripped over the legs of someone kneeling in prayer and fell flat on my face. Immediately, three pairs of hands pinned me to the cold floor as friends of mine prayed over me. I found this slightly amusing, but received it as a gift of love. I went to a Victory church service and received a word of prophecy from the pastor’s wife. It matched with my self-perception, and I appreciated the validation.
After about eight months, I stopped praying in tongues. I could see how it was nice to let God give you the words for the prayers He wanted you to say, but if God already knew them, I didn’t feel a strong need to say them. Praying freestyle, I felt, gave me a chance to hear God’s response to my prayers, sometimes in the very midst of praying. So, I saw praying in tongues as a nice gift, but not one I needed (unless I ever met someone with the gift of interpretation).
One year ago, I went to a Christian Leadership training seminar. I knew I needed work on my leadership skills, so I went. I didn’t learn any leadership skills, though. The seminar was on “receiving the leadership of the Holy Spirit.” There were a few friends and colleagues of mine at the seminar: other pastors I knew and some who were classmates of mine in seminary.
Side note: I just, at this moment, realized that seminar and seminary are only one letter apart. Sometimes, I am really slow.
It felt a little odd, watching these colleagues of mine, most who were at least twenty years older than I, falling over backwards as others prayed over them. I was the only one there who didn’t fall to the floor. I ended up with about nine people praying over me, including one who prayed that I would surrender my knees to the Lord, as he pulled down on my shoulder to try to get me to the ground. I shook my head at these poor folk. Didn’t they know that the Holy Spirit worked in many different ways, giving different gifts to different people? Hadn’t they read their Bibles? Just because they had received one gift in one fashion and considered it a blessing did not mean that the Holy Spirit would bless me through identical means. There was so much more than just falling, and I wrote such in the feedback form for the seminar. I also, during one of the praise and worship times, tried to yield myself to the Spirit. With my eyes closed, I danced. I hadn’t really danced since those two years of tap classes in grades eleven and twelve, and that one year of ballet lessons in grade twelve, but I could remember the very basics and show the others that God wanted our joyful participation, not just our collapsing surrender of will.
I left the seminar, wondering if the Holy Spirit was acting at all. Then I wondered if He ever had.
Wow, Quester.
I grew up in a denomination that was considered “holy rollers” although we did not believe the evidence of the Holy Spirit was speaking in tongues – I think the founders were too afraid of where that might lead.
When we lived in England I worked with a variety of different faiths in a Christian bookstore. One girl in particular was quite charismatic in her beliefs and she had a hard time with me not speaking in tongues. She said I couldn’t be as close to the Lord as possible without this gift. I prayed, just in case she was right, but nothing ever happened.
I was asked to teach on the Gifts of the Spirit at a ladies get-together. The leader wanted to be sure I didn’t speak about any of the ecstatic gifts – I told her I didn’t have any authority to edit the scripture.
Over the years I’ve had many people pray for me to receive the ‘gift’ – I don’t get it. Why isn’t my gift of teaching or exhortation as valuable? It’s contrary to the word to hold one gift above any other, isn’t it? We sure make ourselves miserable trying to conform to others’ understanding of God. I’m much more settled when I let the Lord speak through His word – and not through his ‘servants’.
On a side note – my father-in-law wanted to ‘fit in’ to his wife’s choice of church, so he went forward to be slain in the Spirit (where is that teaching in the Bible?!). When the pastor touched his head he didn’t feel anything but saw the disappointment on the faces around him, so he fell back – I wonder how many people do that ? 😉
As for biblical precedent of becoming overcome by God’s presence and falling down, Daniel fell during an angelic encounter (Dan. 8:16-18); some translations of the Bible describe Saul as falling into a prophetic frenzy which may have involved falling to the ground (1 Samuel 19:18-24); the disciples with Jesus fell to the ground during the transfiguration (Matt. 17:5-7), and; Saul, before becoming Paul, fell blind on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:3-9).
Not enough to convince some people, but more than enough to convince others.
But Paul definitely did teach not to hold any gift of the Spirit’s over any other, and there is much stronger scriptural precedent that the Spirit gives us gifts so that we are equipped to love each other (1 Corinthians 13:1-13, Romans 12: 4-8, Acts 2: 1-12). Any gift that did not help equip a person to love others was dismissed as nothing. Speaking in tongues, without the companion gift of interpretation of tongues, is not of much use at all.
Well, sure, if an angel of the Lord, or the presence of God, or the Transfiguation…but, Benny Hinn! 🙂