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Archive for June, 2008

Back in the saddle

After three years in seminary, three years in ministry and three months unemployed, tomorrow I am starting my first day of a regular 9-5 job. I hope I can remember how.

I am so nervous it is not funny.

The job is full-time, but only a three month contract. I want to work for these guys again, though, so I want to make a good impression.

I’d better get to sleep.

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I was an ordained minister for almost three years when I asked to leave because I could no longer see any reason to believe in God. I have now moved out of the house I was living in (provided by the parish I worked for) and into an apartment. It’s made for a very painful period of time.

I boxed the birthday card the Sunday school had made for me, telling me, “Yu are a good Minster”. I packed away the photos of the confirmation class I taught, and the farewell gifts presented to me by the congregations I ministered to. I also found, and carefully packed, gifts I had been given at my ordination: from my family, from the congregation of the church I interned at, and even a a few from some of the dear women who had taught me Sunday school decades previously. They were all so proud and so happy for me at my ordination. I felt like such a disappointment as I put their gifts in boxes to go with me on my move. (more…)

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Well, I did not intend to drop off the face of the earth for a month, but it seems I did. I am now moved out of the rectory and into an apartment back in the city my wife and I grew up in. I have a full-time, three month contract with the public library, starting next week. My friends and family have not disowned me and it has been good to spend some time with them, even the awkward bits where we dance around the subject of theism. Packing up, tying up a bunch of loose ends, and moving hurt. I’ve been in a lot of emotional pain and unable to come and speak coherently about it here. I’ve also been offline for about two-weeks as I had to leave the rectory a week before I could move into an apartment. Apartment-hunting, job-hunting, packing, moving and unpacking also take up large amounts of time, and I’ve had to make sure I dedicate time to my wife who has been such a strong support through all of this.

So, there are my excuses, offered to anyone who might still drop by occasionally to see if I’ve updated. Things are picking up for me, and in many ways I feel I am moving on into whatever my next chapter is. Thank goodness.

We’ll see if this results in my spending more time here, or less.

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